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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28156287">Child of Surprise</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/1848pianist/pseuds/1848pianist'>1848pianist</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Canon, Book: Krew elfów | Blood of Elves, Coming Out, Gen, Good Parent Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Kaer Morhen, Mentioned Triss Merigold, Nonbinary Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon, Trans Eskel (The Witcher), Trans Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Young Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 17:42:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,136</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28156287</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/1848pianist/pseuds/1848pianist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ciri surprises the witchers of Kaer Morhen by announcing that she's not a girl.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon &amp; Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>91</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Trans Characters in The Witcher Universe</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Child of Surprise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Me? Reading my own experiences as a kid onto Ciri? It's more likely than you think.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Good work,” Lambert says, reaching over to tousle Ciri’s already disheveled hair. “For a girl.”</p><p>“That’s enough of that, Lambert.” Eskel looks up from sharpening his sword by the side of the practice yard. To Ciri, he adds, “You did well, kid, by anyone’s standards.”</p><p>Ciri smiles brightly. “Don’t worry, Eskel. Lambert doesn’t bother me, because I’m not a girl.”</p><p>Lambert’s eyes slide from Ciri to Eskel and finally to Geralt, who has been watching her training from the sidelines. Geralt glances to Eskel for help, but Eskel only shrugs and looks away, hiding a smile.</p><p>“Why are you all looking like that?” Ciri crosses her arms. “Now you’re all going to tell me that I am a girl, just like everybody else does. Well, I’m not, no matter what you say.”</p><p>“No, we’re not,” Geralt says. “Come on, Ciri, let’s take a break and find something to eat.”</p><p>Ciri shrugs and follows after him, her expression still a little wary.</p><p>“There’s nothing wrong with being a girl,” he says as they enter the castle, once they’re far enough away from the other witchers’ overly sensitive ears. “It doesn’t make you any worse at sword fighting, no matter what Lambert says. He’s just trying to rile you.”</p><p>“What’s ‘rile’?”</p><p>“Make you upset. He’s testing you, to see if you remember your training even when you’re angry.”</p><p>“Oh. I know that. I’m just not a girl, is all.”</p><p>They reach the castle kitchens, and Ciri hops up on the table, looking at him.</p><p>“What’s there to eat?”</p><p>He tosses her an apple, slightly shriveled but still sweet. “Sit on the bench, please, not the table.”</p><p>She sighs—loudly and with great drama—but does as he asks. He locates a round of cheese and a knife as well and sits down across from her.</p><p>“Do you want to be a boy, then?” he asks.</p><p>“Sometimes. But Triss says I can’t be.”</p><p>He frowns. “Triss is mistaken.”</p><p>“Really?” Ciri’s eyes light up. “How do you know?”</p><p>He sighs, wishing he were not the one to have this conversation. Not because the subject shouldn’t be discussed—only because he has never discussed it. With anyone. But he is the one having this conversation, and Ciri deserves to know the answers to her questions.</p><p>“Eskel and I are proof.”</p><p>Her already-huge eyes widen even further. “You—and Eskel—? But how?”</p><p>“The Trials. And the Changes after them.”</p><p>“The Trials make you a boy?”</p><p>“It’s a...hmm. A side effect, I think, more than a deliberate outcome. But there are other, less dangerous, ways of accomplishing the same end.”<em> As Triss knows</em>, he adds silently.</p><p>Ciri is so distracted that she’s forgotten all about the food, caught up in all this new information.</p><p>“So...you mean I...I could be a boy too?”</p><p>“If that’s what you want.”</p><p>“Did you always want to be a boy?”</p><p>The question catches him off guard. It’s not something he’s thought about in a long time.</p><p>“Yes.” He smiles a little, remembering. “Desperately. I even looked forward to the Changes, at first. For a while, I thought being a witcher was everything I’d ever wanted—choosing my own name, training with swords, being around the other boys.”</p><p>Now, he realizes he doesn’t know what he would choose. He’s far less certain of everything than he was when he first came to Kaer Morhen. And he’s lived long enough to know that there are many different ways of being male or female, ways he never could have imagined as a child.</p><p>It’s like being a witcher, he supposes. He wishes he’d had the choice, a real choice, but he didn’t and he never will. He is what he is, and most of the time he’s made his peace with that. But Ciri can choose. For herself, and with knowledge of all the options. And with the ability to change her mind.</p><p>Ciri traces a pattern on the grain of table with her finger.</p><p>“Does it have to be soon?”</p><p>“Hmm?”</p><p>“When do I have to decide?”</p><p>“Whenever you want. There’s no rush.”</p><p>“Oh, good,” she says, clearly relieved. But then she bites her lip.</p><p>“What’s the matter?”</p><p>“What if I don’t want to be a boy or a girl?”</p><p>“You mean you’re not sure?”</p><p>“No! I’m...I mean...I’m <em>sure</em> I don’t want to be a boy <em>or</em> a girl.” She looks up at him, frowning and breathing as though she’s just run the Trail.</p><p>“All right...what do you want?”</p><p>“I don’t know. That’s the problem!”</p><p>He’s silent for a moment, thinking.</p><p>“Do you want to be called something else? Something other than Ciri?”</p><p>She shakes her head firmly. “Just don’t call me Cirilla. Unless you’re mad at me.”</p><p>He laughs. “All right. I won’t. What else?”</p><p>“I want my hair short. Shorter. Like yours!” She pulls her hair back in a ponytail to demonstrate.</p><p>“I think we can manage that.” He wonders at that, a little amazed that she would want to look anything like him.</p><p>“I don’t want to wear a dress anymore. But I like the stuff Triss puts on her eyes.”</p><p>He smiles, thinking of Ciri coming to breakfast one morning a few weeks ago with more paint on her eyelids than Yennefer.</p><p>“Yes, I noticed.”</p><p>“And I don’t want to have to sew anything ever again!”</p><p>“I don’t know about that,” he says, smile widening. “Sewing is useful. You should be able to mend your own clothes.”</p><p>She groans. “Fine. I suppose.”</p><p>“It’s a good skill for anyone to have. Like fighting—or cooking. Speaking of which, we should get out of the kitchen. Eskel’ll be in to make dinner soon.”</p><p>She stands and then turns to look back at him from the door. “Are you going to tell them that we’ve talked? Eskel and Lambert and Vesemir. And—and Triss?”</p><p>“That depends. What do you want me to do?”</p><p>“Will you come with me? Tonight, at dinner?”</p><p>“Of course. If you’re ready.”</p><p>She nods, then throws her arms around his waist. He hugs her back, proud of her in a way he didn’t know he was capable of feeling. She is so certain of herself, in some ways, despite her youth. Sharper than a blade, stubborn as hell, and endlessly, insatiably curious. He hopes she never loses that.</p><p>When she lets go, she steps back and wipes her eyes with the back of her hand.</p><p>“Sorry.”</p><p>“It’s all right, Ciri.”</p><p>“I know. I—I don’t know why I’m crying. I’m not sad, I’m happy.”</p><p>“That’s all right, too.”</p><p>She looks up and gives him a watery smile. “Come on. I want to practice disarming Lambert again before dinner.”</p><p>Geralt follows her while she runs ahead, thinking to himself that she’s already disarmed them all, in more ways than one.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>In a few years Ciri will decide that her pronouns are ze/Zireal</p></blockquote></div></div>
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